did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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