$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
