Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
