Having a random hookup so left but love u
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
