They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
