Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
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