what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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