Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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