Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
