my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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