how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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