Yo dont text me then not text me
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
