it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
