The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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