Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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