Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize