I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize