Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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