she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
