All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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