I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Randomize
