the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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