Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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