I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
