I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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