The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
