Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
