it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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