it wasn't lemon gatorade
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
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my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
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Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
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