Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
These 21 FaceApped Celebrities Will Make You LOL
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
25 People Confess Their Favorite Way To Annoy Their Significant Other
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.