I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??