I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.