Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages