I want leopard sheets
thats the plan
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?