its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
