I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize