i barfeds in our rink
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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