MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
