Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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