Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
