Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
