so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize