I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
accomplished twins. life is a go
ugly people sure do ruin things
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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