But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Four minutes until I can fart!
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
