True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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