he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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