i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
