It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
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