No, drunk sperm still make babies.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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