He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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