I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Randomize
