there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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