Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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