Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
