my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
