i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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