she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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