I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
He felt like a one man threesome
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
