I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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