Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize