I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
