are you still at the devil's house?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
